3 And ye yourselves know that I have hitherto been diligent in the office of my calling; but I this day am weighed down with much more desire and anxiety for the welfare of your souls than I have hitherto been.
This scripture came into my mind several times this past week, and I all that I can say is that I understood what Jacob meant. I love the picture that he puts in my mind of being "weighed down" with a desire, and anxiety, all for his people. And I can honestly say personally I have felt that weight, but also that that "weight" is all created out of a love for the people I serve.
This week we had Zone Training, and oh was this an exciting one. We planned on having it on Thursday at 11am. We get a text from the tech elders that there is a strike for the workers on the trains, so we might have to cancel the meeting if it will be hard for missionaries to get to Heidelberg. We immediately looked it all up and planned for 11:30am. Then after much preparations for themes, papers, chex muddy buddies for snacks, suprise birthday party for Elder Nelson, and cool German CTR rings, the day finally came.
I myself personally, could explain to you all that we talked about, but what I want to say is how I felt. The specific themes were on unity, obedience, our purpose, a new beginning, and agency. It all went wonderfully. Everyone gave wonderful talks, and it was great. As I sat there though listening and seeing everyone's faces, this overwhelming feeling came over me that I couldn't muster or control myself. And the only word that I could use to describe it was love. I felt that desire and anxiety wash away as I sat there and let the Spirit teach these wonderful missionaries in their hearts. I gave the theme on agency and did my best to teach as Elder Bednar did and led a discussion. I am far from that, but the preparation that I put in and my many prayers were heard, and it was exactly what I, and others needed.
The other 2 experiences, have to do with family. We met with this wonderful family from Iran, who left everything to become Christian here in Germany. We just sat there amazed as they described to us their journey that was so unbearable, nothing that I could even compare my life to, and all because of Christ. The mother has even left two of her oldest children there, and misses them everyday, because she can't even see them or have contact with them.
Similarly there is also a mom that has been away from her kid about 2 years now, and all because she knows and loves her Heavenly Father and Jesus and sent her son away, so he could bring "a few souls unto Christ". I got to see this amazing mother and wish her a Happy Mother's Day, and all I can say is, I have amazing examples in my life, especially from the women that are in my life. Happy Mother's Day, mom :)
All I can say is, the overwhelming feeling of LOVE is a standard and a base for what I do. It's where my desire is rooted. I love the people I serve, and I desire for the "welfare of their souls". I desire, that the people that are close to me and mean something to me, to be happy. When I see someone in pain or in a moment of weakness, I know I can do something about it. I know I can be there. And I desire, that everyone, finds where true love stems from, and that is in Christ.
Have a wonderful week :) And if you want to know, I'll be in Utah from July 10th to the 22nd, so lemme know if you want to do anything :) much love!!!